Why Does Uncertainty Make Us Anxious?
So, who may be more at risk?
- For children who are naturally more cautious or anxious, uncertainty can feel more intolerable.
- Likewise, if a child or young person has a parent who displays anxious tendencies, or tries to limit their exposure to uncertainty, children can become less tolerant to uncertainty.
- Neurodiversity also plays a part. Children with ASC or ADHD often find uncertainty challenging as they tend to prefer structure and routine.
Maladaptive Coping Strategies
As illustrated in the graphic above, when faced with uncertainty, many children and young people develop maladaptive coping mechanisms. Although these strategies often reduce anxiety and provide a sense of relief in the short-term, they can be counterproductive and reinforce anxiety over time. Here are some common maladaptive coping strategies:
1. Avoidance
Avoidance is one of the most common responses to uncertainty. A child who is anxious because today is school photo day and the timetable is strange may not go to school that day. A child who struggles with new situations might avoid trying new clubs altogether and reduce their social circle. Unfortunately, avoidance provides short-term relief but reinforces fear in the long run. Adults might inadvertently accommodate avoidance by allowing a child to sit out on activities or avoid taking them to new places. While this may seem like it’s helping the child with their anxiety, it can reinforce the idea that uncertainty is something to fear rather than tolerate.
2. Procrastination
When children and young people feel overwhelmed by uncertainty, they may face problems initiating a task. For example, young people who are anxious about how a piece of work may turn out may neglect to start it.
3. Micromanaging
Some young people try to control uncertainty by over-planning and micromanaging situations. A young person might plan every detail of a project and struggle to let others join in, wanting to feel certain they can get it “just right.”
4. Reassurance-Seeking
A child who frequently asks, “Is this okay?” or “Are you sure?” is likely struggling with uncertainty. While seeking reassurance is natural, excessive reassurance-seeking prevents children from building confidence in their own decision-making abilities. Parents and teachers may unintentionally reinforce reassurance-seeking by repeatedly answering questions instead of helping the child develop independent problem-solving skills.
5. Worry
A child who often worries may believe that if they can just problem solve enough in their head, they can fix or control things. In reality, this is just not true. Excessive worrying has zero impact on the outcome of a situation and often just causes children and young people to get caught up in their own head and become anxious and stressed.
In our next blog post we will explore how we can support children and young people to develop more helpful coping strategies when they are faced with uncertainty. We also have a training course on practical classroom strategies for anxiety generally which can be found here – the course is written and delivered by Dr. Amy Sweet, Educational Psychologist.
