Beneath the Surface: Understanding the ‘Why’ Behind Children’s Challenging Behaviour
As an Trainee Educational Psychologist, I often find myself drawing attention to what lies beneath the surface of behaviour. When a child distracts others, shouts out, avoids work, or plays the ‘class clown’, it’s easy to focus on what we see, but just like an iceberg, most of what’s driving that behaviour is hidden underneath.
Disruptive and ‘challenging’ behaviours are often just an outward expression of deeper, more complex emotional needs and experiences. Beneath the surface, we might find feelings of shame, frustration, or boredom linked to finding work too difficult. We might discover a child craving connection or validation, or one who has taken on the role of ‘class clown’ because it’s a role they know how to play, even if it comes at the cost of learning.
When we reframe behaviour as communication rather than defiance, we start to ask more curious and compassionate questions:
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What is this behaviour telling us?
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What need might this child be trying to meet?
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How can we support them in a way that helps them feel seen, safe, and successful?
As school staff, you have the unique opportunity to not only manage behaviour but to understand it, and in doing so, change a child’s experience of school and themselves.
For more information on challenging behaviour and a much deeper look at the ‘Iceberg’ including longer term factors and the environment, please see our highly rated course on Challenging Behaviour written and delivered by Educational Psychologist Dr Gary Lavan.
